Swirling Haze

This past week has been a little crazy. I have been reading the Harry Potter books, staying up until early in the morning doing homework, trying to budget time for Vico 222 assignments, and dancing everyday that I can. Unfortunately, my sleep schedule has gone a little haywire. I slept through my first two classes on Monday because I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am. And then yesterday, I also slept through Philosophy and Econ because I just couldn't move. Only two more weeks until finals and then this week is over. What sucks though is that next quarter I have to buy a whole new camera body and two expensive lenses for my Photojournalism class. What's even worse is that I'm unsure whether I should continue in VisCom. This quarter, I barely had time to do my Vico 222 shooting assignments because I was in class for 20 hours a week. Very rarely would I be able to apply the assignment's theme to something I would be shooting for the Post, so I would have to shoot on top of all that. I just don't like taking photos for a grade. I feel less creative and more trapped into pleasing the teacher so I get a good grade. When I'm shooting for the Post, and when it's a good assignment, I'm much more relaxed and take much better photos. I also watched way more TV this quarter because I got into shows and started watching Jeopardy again. I only wanted to come to college to enjoy the atmosphere and learn about things I like. Having to worry about grades and what classes I need to take is distracting me from life. I've started to become a little stressed every once in awhile, something I have very rarely felt in my 18.5 years of life. Right now, I just want to live my life sitting around with like-minded people discussing things. I want to read books, watch witty shows, see wonderful movies, learn to play instruments, write music, take photos, write books, write stories, write articles, write reviews, explore the world, and love someone.

Cait-a-day

While walking to my VICO 222 class today, I was passing Alden Library when one of the editors of the Post turned the corner. She said I had perfect timing as she wanted me to shoot something. There were people dancing around the corner in front of Alden. I jumped into photo mode, took some pictures, got some information, and was about to join in when the dance mix ended. I was a little disheartened, but I had found a great idea for my long term project for 222. I'm going to photograph these impromtu dance sessions and possibly join in. To catch me dancing hopefully tomorrow, go to cait-a-day.blogspot.com. Oh, and I am now starting the fifth Harry Potter book and will try and post all the reviews on The Book Shelf throughout the week.

Reading Schedule

So instead of reading the only suggestion I got (Left Hand of Darkness), I decided to read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I finished it for the sixth or seventh time, I don't remember. Now I am going to read the next one, and probably reread the rest of the series in order, and then read Left Hand of Darkness because it is very hard to get through (I tried over the summer). I also wanted to point out The Avett Brothers to my readers. They are a delightful folksy-acoustic-bluegrass band that I was introduced to through CATVision's TV guide channel. The channel streams the WOUB broadcast of NPR along with musical interludes of, often, obscure music. One time they played the Dr. Dog song The Breeze. This solidified my love of the channel and has left me leaving the channel on while I read or work on the computer. The link to their site is under Musical Tastes. I have also added Julia Nunes, who's CDs have entranced me and I thank my friend Justin for introducing me to her music. Enjoy!

New Look

If you're reading this on the main page, then you'll probably see the picture behind the title. I've decided to bring some life into my blog a little, so each month I will change the picture behind my title. I will also try to put up more photos from the stuff I shoot, but not too many because this isn't my photo blog, which I don't have one of. So look forward to the beginning of every month! And happy 110th post! Only 90 more until we celebrate my 2ooth post!

Book Poll #2

It's that time again. I've finished Neverwhere and Ender's Game. It's time to pick my next book to read. Remember, post your choice in a comment and to include any recommendations for next time's list. I can always try to find recommendations at Little Professor or the library. And if a recommendation gets enough votes, I might read that instead. So please vote this time!

Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
Eyeless in Gaza - Aldous Huxley
The Plague - Albert Camus
The Fall - Albert Camus
Ape and Essence - Aldous Huxley
A Sand County Almanac - Aldo Leopold
The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
Changing Planes - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Telling - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - C. S. Lewis
Harry Potter, Book 2-7 - J. K. Rowling

Poetic Piece of Mind

This is a poetic AIM chat that Hope and I had. I started with two lines. Then Hope responded with two lines. It follows a statement-response formula. I've really been inspired lately. Hope deserves partial credit for it. Enjoy our poetic collaboration!

Dead

Let me breathe life into you
To wake you from your eternal slumber

I only wish to live again.
Rejoice in a rebirth.

What dreams will come but few.
You will stay forever somber.

Unite my body with my soul.
Return again to earth.

My soul yearns for yours.
Hear its booming beckoning call.

We shall be joined again my love.
I gain life from your breath.

No more does matter the hours.
Into your arms constantly I fall.

Forever we shall always be
Together, free of death.

Readers, Readers Everywhere

People just keep coming out of the woodwork telling me they read my blog. That makes me very happy because I had thought this blog would go nowhere when I started it. Now, over seven months later, it's going strong. I can't wait for the one year anniversary. I have less than five months to think about what I'm going to do for it. Just letting everybody know how much I appreciate their readership!

Neverwhere

I'm deep into Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, and boy is it good. It's a wonderful fantasy tale that has a similar love story to the movie Stardust, which is based of the Gaiman book of the same name. A new post on The Book Shelf should be up soon. After that, I will begin reading Ender's Game and will make note of the supposed similarities between it and Harry Potter that Orson Scott Card so fervidly claims.

Inspiration...

I felt like writing. Two poems came out. These are those poems.

Deaf

I'm listening for you
As I'm screaming in my room.
I'm stuck in a place
I can't leave.

Can you hear me?
I can't hear you.
I'm lost...
Help me find you.


Blind

I can't see you
When my eyes are open.
I can't see you
When they're closed.

So how am I to know
You're there,
If all I see
Is air?

Smiles and Social Experiments

Today I was walking down Morton hill to my room, and as usual I like to look around at my fellow walkers. Today was a little different though. I was feeling very good, and was therefore smiling. When my eyes connected with this one girl's, she smiled back. That made me feel wonderful. I had recently posted a Facebook status saying how I wanted to spread my smile because the other walkers looked so grumpy. Today it happened, and it stayed with me for the rest of the day. I began to think about other things I could do to make people smile. I thought about saying hello to everyone I pass by tomorrow. I also thought about singing songs from the Sound of Music. So tomorrow I am going to say hello to everyone I come across. On a side note, I have decided to start Neverwhere this weekend, and then, upon finishing, read Ender's Game. Stay tuned for more glimpses into the strange yet awesome world my mind came from!

What to Read Next?

Here is a list of titles and authors. Pick the one you think I should read and post it in a comment. If you have a recommendation, post that in addition to the one you chose.

Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
Eyeless in Gaza - Aldous Huxley
The Plague - Albert Camus
Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
The Fall - Albert Camus
Ape and Essence - Aldous Huxley
A Sand County Almanac - Aldo Leopold
Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card
The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
Changing Planes - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Telling - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - C. S. Lewis
Harry Potter, Book 2-7 - J. K. Rowling

Have fun!

The Book Shelf

After several thoughts about blogs, and several half-hearted blogs, I deleted The Modern Eclectic and The Course of Communication (my blog for J101) and created The Book Shelf. The Book Shelf will be just that. The pages (posts) will be about literature I am in the process of reading. There will be two lists on the side, along with the archive. One is called Books on the Shelf. This is for books I liked. The other one is called Books in the Bin, which is easy to guess what that's for. The address is thebook-shelf.blogspot.com. I wanted thebookshelf.blogspot.com but some idiot named Jennifer has it. The worst part is there is nothing on her blog, and she's been a member since 2001. She's obviously inactive, and unfortuantely I have no way to contact her in order to get the domain name. Oh well.

Winter Quarter

I'm off to a good start this quarter. I'm taking 20 credit hours this quarter, so it's going to be interesting. I don't have any journalism classes (sad face), but I do have two VisCom courses which should be fun. My friend Kristen is in my Philosophy 120 class, but so is Frank. I thought I might never see Frank again. I thought wrong. My awesome grammer partner is in my Econ 103 class. Hurray! I'm glad I was wrong that I might not see Matt again. I have some familiar faces in my Japanese class, but not my cool ecletic friend Taylor. But I do have fellow Postie, Jessica-san. Speaking of Posties, I ate breakfast this morning with the illustrious Ryan Dunn and City Staff Editor, Brigitta Burks. The weird thing is that we ate breakfast together at the end of fall quarter. I'm really excited for this quarter, so stay tuned for the 2009 edition of the life of John Nero!

A Year in My View

We laughed, we cried, we sang, and we died; but most of all, we made it through another year. Congratulations! It's been an interesting one for me though. I played a lusty priest in The Importance of Being Earnest, and snagged the role of a brother in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (ugh). I survived my AP Spanish exam none-the-wiser (I got a 2). I read wonderful books in my AP English class, and performed a scene from Oedipus Rex, ending with a rap. I graduated from high school. I went to Bonnaroo with three close friends. I started this blog. I saw many indie films at Cedar Lee on many a Monday night. I got high on my birthday (never going to happen again). I danced my socks off. I watched friends leave for college. I left for college. I spent my first quarter in college. I joined The Post and Fridays Live, I saw Ben Folds twice. I read more good books. I thought more pensive thoughts. I saw plays, and lost my Rocky Horror virginity. I became addicted to Tazo Green Tea. I took Japanese. I made friends as I watched others fade away. I thought about relationships. I thought about love. I thought about people. I thought about everything. I thought about you and him, him and me, me and you (just being poetic). I forgot about the past, brushed aside the future, and focused on the present. I photographed the world around me. But most importantly, I smiled and tried to pass on my joy to others. Happy 100th post, and a bon voyage into the new year. Happy New Years Eve!

The Sound of Music

I watched The Sound of Music for the first time straight through yesterday. It was a nice end to a not great day. I slept for the most part of the day because I didn't feel so hot. Now, I've seen bits and pieces of the movie, but I have been meaning for the longest time to see it from the beginning. Usually when I see it is on, I've already missed a good chunk of it. But today, I came home from eating out with my mom and sisters to find the living room TV on. It was on ABC and a show had just finished. The speakers announced, to my delight, that The Sound of Music was next. How happy I was. I watched in my room, singing along to the parts I knew and learning the ones I didn't. It was wonderful. It so sad that Julie Andrews lost the power in her voice because of her cancer.

Lost Part Deux

Another cause of my feeling alone is my family. I love my family, but they just don't mesh well with me. I see everything through such different eyes than they do. Being at my house for six weeks has made me realize how suffocated I feel there. I feel like I can't win here, like I'm trapped. I don't know. This night has just made me think a lot. While waiting for them to decide on what to do after we had finished eating, I sat on a ledge thinking, and thinking, and thinking. I did that a lot. Once I get in my head, it's hard to get out. Being in my head is what made me feel like crap. Thinking about people who I want to be friends with, but when I'm around them I feel like those dream sequences where your chasing after someone who is slowly walking away, but you never catch up to them because for some reason you're running in slow motion. Do they act so childish because I'm not their macho man stereotype, and this threatens their masculinity? Or is it because they are jealous that I am far more a man than they? I don't know. I'm not a psychologist with a fancy chaise lounge chair. I'm just the one that asks the questions. I apologise if a lot of my blog posts get you down. I normally have a very sunny disposition, but every so often I think and it upsets me.

Lost

I feel so lost. I feel so alone right now. I should be happy because I got to hang out with my friends, but I'm not. I was really happy sitting at Mama Santa's with people who I had barely seen over my break, until they started reminiscing. They sounded so happy talking about their memories. I don't mind the ones that happened before I met them, but when they bring up stories I have heard before, I feel so distant. I could have been there too, but I wasn't invited. I understand that I haven't known them for as long as they've all known each other, but they include me sometimes and then talk about all the times I was excluded. I feel like I don't belong. I feel like I'm an impartial observer, like someone watching through a spyglass, but I'm also there so they can insult me and deride me. They all seem so fake. When they are not all together, they're nice and only tease and joke. When all the guys are together it's a huge "see who can say the meanest thing about John" contest. For people that dislike people for being fake, they sure need to take a good hard look in the mirror. The worst part is that they're not horrible people. I want to be friends with them, but they make it very hard. But I'm so different from them. Not to condescend and preach from a soap box, but I am far more emotionally mature than them. I'm not an insensitive asshole like they are most of the time. The whole world's a game to them. When I offer them a heart, they throw it on the ground and smash it. I feel so empty and lost. And they aren't the only cause.

Stormy Weather

I love and at the same time hate Cleveland weather. I was so glad to be somewhere where it snows a lot, only to have the snow be washed away. Every time it snows, a day or so later it rains and washes away any trace of the snow. I love rain, but I also love snow. On a side note, did you know that on rainy and snowy days, or just days of inclement weather, people's moods tend to be more on the gloomy side. When weather is bad, people are sad. I used to dislike rainy days. Now I love the feeling of rain, but I still dislike when it rains all day because that means I can't be outside that long because I'll get sick. Oh precipitation! You are a double-edged sword!

Joyful Non-descript-holiday Eve

Happy Christmas Eve everyone and Happy Hanukkah day four. With five posts left after this one, it's a dash to the finish line to get to 100 before 11:59pm EST on Dec. 31st. I've got seven days to make due with. Well good night, and good luck.

Confused...

Apparently I was wrong. The other doesn't like the one. Somehow I mistook an obvious show of affection to be exactly that, when apparently it was just fooling around. The other is a greater liar than I, to be able to truly show genuine affection and call it fooling around is great talent. I may not know anything about relationships because I didn't hone my skills on fruitless relationships, but damn do I know how to read people. I'm good at putting two and two together. I watch and pick up on things. I don't just guess. I back up my conjectures. I rarely over think, and when I do over analyze I usually say first that it might be a little far fetched. I'm pretty sure I hit the nail on the head with how the other feels about the one. Even if the other denies it, I will stand behind my theory. Besides, the other had a lame explanation as to why they didn't like the one.